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We continue this month with our year-long “Guide to Charm” series which applying the tips from the book Better than Beauty A Guide to Charm, to our daily lives. So far this year we have covered the following steps:
- Step 1 Hair and Makeup
- Step 2 Hands and Feet
- Step 3 Posture and Weight
- Step 4 Cleanliness and Sleep
- Step 5 Defining Chic
- Step 6 Your Wardrobe
- Step 7 First Impressions
- Step 8 Outgoing Personality
This month the topic is all about being smart. When we talk about smarts it’s not necessarily book smarts we are referring too. Instead the smarts we are really talking about are good old common sense and kindness. However, it doesn’t hurt to have some book smarts about you, too.
As a teacher I find myself often shaking my head in despair when I think of all my students who just have no common sense. Apparently I’m not alone in this thinking this, there are lots of philosophical debates and opinion articles on the topic that we are losing common sense in our society.
Before going further I should clearly define the term common sense, which is in short is good sense and sound judgment in practical matters. In other words you don’t need any special training or degree to have common sense just a little bit of experience and the ability to put two and two together.
It is important to note that common sense is not something we are born with, but it is a trait that can be developed. Keep in mind common sense is all about “sound judgement” meaning doing the right thing, not whatever we feel like.
For example if the speed limit is 65 mph and you are driving 85, common sense says this is wrong and there will most likely be consequences. These consequences may be a simple speeding ticket, or you may risk harming others or yourself. Thus, common sense says don’t do it.
Since the baby boomers there has been an increase of a “me” mentality of latter generations. The idea that it’s all about “me” , I think has contributed to the lack of common sense, because it’s no longer about “sound judgement” it’s about what makes “me happy”.
Research suggest a good way to learn common sense is to have a good role model. Unfortunately today’s youth tend to have role models like the Kardashians, which if you need a good example of the lack of common sense there you go. However, this doesn’t have to be the way, find someone in your personal life who you find to be competent and have two feet fully on the ground. This could be a relative, teacher or community member that you can look to as a role model.
Okay, I feel like I’ve feel like I’m been on my soap box so I’m going to step down now and move on to the next topic.
The book Better than Beauty A Guide to Charm, suggests that charming people also have a unique kindness to them. Kindness is defined as the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.
Today in our fast paced “me” driven lives, it sometimes easy to forget to be kind. Acts of kindness usually don’t cost us much, it’s a simple act of saying thank you for a meal, opening a door for someone who’s hands are full, even your attitude towards others can be an attribute of kindness.
Not to brag, but my lovely hubby is probably the most kindest person I know. He’s always helping people with doors, even sometimes helping an elderly person load up their car at the supermarket. When he comes across a screw in the parking lot, he quickly picks it up and throws it away so no one will risk getting a flat.
I’ve always tried to be a good person, but he makes me want to be a better person. Saying that, while I was on my soap box when it came to common sense, I remember that we should be Believe in the Good in the world, one way to do that is Be the Good in the world, this ensures that there is at least some good, right?
Don’t forget you can copy of Better than Beauty: A Guide to Charm, here.